my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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