my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
