I accidentally had phone sex last night
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize