we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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