Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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