He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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