what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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