C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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