I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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