So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
