You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
