I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
