My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
