just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize