last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize