Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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