Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
