what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
