hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize