Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
