you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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