I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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