do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
