i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
