Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
