Pappa wants mamma naked
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
