what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
