The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I think people are normalizing furries
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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