Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize