im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize