I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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