Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
