the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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