i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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