i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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