youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Is Oprah even human
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
