U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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