Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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