It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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