Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
