Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
As shirtless as possible
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
