I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
