i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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