big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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