I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
