Pass out mid-funnel last night.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize