the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Randomize
