This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
