well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
