I think I just saw someone hide a body.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
