so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
