he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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