my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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