When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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