Her vagina should come with caution tape.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
