Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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