I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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