good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
