just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
