If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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