i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
