Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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