My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
