we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
