jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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