If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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