i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
