And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize