Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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