Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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