Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
