I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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