Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my phone needs a breathalizer
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Randomize
