pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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