I'm so fucking centered right now
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
