So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Randomize
