The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize